Photo Credit: DK Find Out!

By Special Correspondents Yonatan Gazit and Matthew Bolden

SAGA DINING HALL — Despite heated discussion to the contrary, the Yale-NUS College administration confirmed at yesterday’s Town Hall that the elephant in the Saga dining hall will remain there for the foreseeable future.

Attention was brought to the large pachyderm when student Yaling Huang (‘20) asked, “Excuse me President Pavlov, but isn’t there a large African elephant in the dining hall?” To which Yale-NUS College President Vladimir Pavlov acknowledged that there was indeed an elephant in the room. He assured students that “we in the administration are trying the best we can to address your concerns with the present situation.”

Members of the student body demanded to know if this meant there was a timeline for the removal of the animal from the space. Director of Wellness Fikriyya Ahmed clarified that the Yale-NUS administration was certain that all the necessary support systems are in place. “There are structures and policies that we have implemented which are functioning as intended,” he explained.

Director Ahmed further explained that students should consider the creature a common facet of college life and “not too different from what you’d find at other prestigious institutions, even Yale.” However, many students expressed dissatisfaction with this pronouncement. “Just because Yale has elephants doesn’t mean we should too,” remarked student Hyeon-Jeong Gim (’18). “I thought a liberal arts education was meant to help me think critically and solve problems, such as removing large mammals that obviously have no place indoors. I never thought I’d have to just accept the elephant in the room.”

When asked about the elephant’s origins, Director Ahmed said, “I can safely say is that there was definitely a series of events that led to the current circumstances, but please understand that there are some things that I am unable to comment on.”

Although several other issues were touched upon at the Town Hall, such as the student body’s 0% employment rate, the exorbitant costs of buttery Indomie, and the rising toxicity of the Eco-pond, the majority of the evening was spent addressing the elephant in the room.

At press time, sources indicate the elephant continues to be a pervasive presence in the room. logo