Photo Credit: Adrian Stymne
CENDANA COLLEGE — Slowly emerging from his dimly-lit cell, Cendana senior Jean Corveau (‘17) reportedly saw daylight for the first time in months. “I never thought I’d live to see this day,” said a haggard and unshaven Corveau, adding that the sunlight felt so much better on his pallid skin than the dim glow of his laptop screen, which had been the only source of illumination in his cramped quarters. “Every now and then, I’d hear the faint chirps of birds outside the walls. They drove me mad with envy, as I slaved endlessly on my final thesis, but now I can fly too! I am free! I am free!” At press time, sources report that Corveau’s long-overdue Netflix marathon was interrupted when he realised that ex-inmates were rarely employed following their release.