YALE-NUS COLLEGE — Having finally done what they came to Yale-NUS College to do, inaugural Mocktant Editors Levin Molden (‘17) and Batthew Kow (‘17) have begun their slow, steady ride into the sunset.
The founding editors of the College’s first and finest satirical news source began their daring crusade against taking ourselves too seriously at the beginning of this academic year. Now with the hundredth article under their belts, the editors have decided to hang up their spurs, pack up their printing presses, and ride their thesauruses west into the setting sun.
Confident that their work at the College is now over, the two social misfits have confirmed that it is time they moved on. “We set out to save Satire, and it has been saved… but not for us,” Molden pensively told reporters, adding, “The next webpages are for you.”
Kow agreed with Molden’s sentiment. “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”
When asked what they were going to do next, Kow mentioned that the duo were thinking of going into agriculture. “We’ll have a cow, and some pigs, and we’re gonna have, maybe-maybe, a chicken. Down in the flat, we’ll have a little field of… field of alfalfa for the rabbits.”
“My guess is you’ll never hear from us again,” added Molden. “The greatest trick we ever pulled was convincing the world that we don’t exist. And like that, we’re gone.”
At press time, sources reported seeing Kow putting an arm around his co-editor’s shoulder. “It’s a magical world, Molden ol’ buddy. Let’s go exploring!”
“Now, bring me that horizon.”