Tensions rose yesterday after the week-long peace talks between Saga suitemates Dylan Smith and Park Jin-Ho broke down overnight. The disputed Colgate toothpaste launcher, which has been a point of contention for weeks now, is finally drawing increased attention as Park accelerates his testing. “I will not back down.” said Park in an interview, clarifying his stance over the sustained dental product testing. “The testing will continue.”

The Suitemate Security Council was first brought to high alert when Park initiated his testing phase on a toothpaste launcher, claiming it could launch toothpaste from his designated toiletry compartment across the toilet, to as far as the furthest sink. The move was seen by many in the Council as “aggressive” and “dangerous”, launching toothpaste over their territories and the designated no-fly zone above the Pacific Sink.

The toothpaste launcher, designed to be a long range trajectory mechanism for Park to brush his teeth without having to manually walk over to his toothpaste, is considered by his other five suitemates to be a “direct violation of suitemate rights” and a “dangerous, confrontational move that destabilises bathroom peace in the region”.

An official report on Friday has stated that Park’s suitemates have already initiated an Indomie embargo on him, banning him from accessing the tasty midnight snack indefinitely. But it was not enough to deter Park. Two more high-velocity fluoride projectiles were launched on Sunday morning, one landing in the Pacific Sink and the other landing just shy of his suitemate Matthew Mitawowski’s toiletry compartment.

“If this continues, Park will face the fury and fire not just from me, but from the entire Suitemate Security Council,” said Smith in an interview.

At press time, Mitawowski has evacuated many toiletries from his compartment, for fear of more dental missiles landing in his territory.

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