YALE-NUS COLLEGE – The student body has rallied together to express their disapproval concerning the unforgivable actions of Lisa Kheng (’19) when she neglected to press the lift button for her floor on the 19th of September.

Lisa Kheng had reportedly walked into the lift on the 2nd floor of Elm College with a group of her friends after breakfast. Standing the closest to the control panel, she was burdened with the tremendous responsibility of tapping her student card and selecting a floor – but failed to do so, leaving her group of friends to stand in uncomfortable silence for a significant amount of time. It was only after enduring an unbearable 2 minutes and 24 seconds in an unmoving lift did they realize they had been betrayed by someone they once considered a friend.

“Honestly, you think you know someone, and then they go do something like this,” commented Hillary Lee (’19), the former best friend of said accused. “Sometimes I really just can’t believe I used to associate with someone like her.”

Meanwhile, the rest of the school has mobilized in an unprecedented show of unity to express disapproval for Kheng’s behavior. The lift in which the heinous crime was committed has been covered with posters cautioning potential offenders against committing the act. Her actions have also sparked a college-wide debate about lift etiquette, prompting the President’s office to schedule a Town Hall for next week.

At press time, Kheng was spotted wearing massive sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat, running away from a sea of booing people. When the Mocktant approached her for comment, she escaped by getting into the lift where she remained on the second floor because she forgot to tap her student card.  

Intellectual Debate Section